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cracked:

Soon as you call that out as the bullshit it is, you might actually get to be a happy couple.

5 Cynical Marriage Tips Every Couple Needs to Learn

#4. Know Your Partner CAN’T Complete You

It’s a sweet notion, but eff that You Complete Me speech right in the booty hole. If you get to a point in your life where you think you’re incomplete without (blank), something’s gone wrong and you’re setting yourself up for years of heartache. Hinging your lifetime of happiness on the actions, reactions, and erections of another human is as reckless as laying down your life savings on the bet that Tupac and Biggie are still alive and sharing a garage apartment in Iowa. It’s a nice thought, but not a good bet.

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exteriors:

*uses snapchat text bar to cover pimple*

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wild-guy:

Kelly Rowland texting Nelly via Microsoft Excel and then getting annoyed when he doesn’t text back.

Reblogged from 1-800-suckmyass
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vogue-hearts:

if puppies could talk I would never even try to make human friends ever again.

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vuls:

*breaks down your front door* i just shaved my legs feel them

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drakefanclub2:

where do i gt this

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Reblogged from Laugh Time